January 2010
9 posts
The RT Year in Review: Greg Castle
We asked Rigor Tortoise to answer some questions about 2009. We’ll be posting the answers throughout the week.
Goodbye 2009. Here, with his parting comments, is Mr. Greg Castle:
Write one sentence that sums up your 2009.
I married the woman of my dreams.
What was your favorite memory on set with Rigor Tortoise this year?
Shooting things at night is always really fun. We get especially...
The RT Year in Review: Dustin Sterling
We asked Rigor Tortoise to answer some questions about 2009. We’ll be posting the answers throughout the week.
Answers from a man who needs no introduction, Mr. Dustin Sterling:
Write one sentence that sums up your 2009.
The year I will refer to in the future as “The one before I built my Robot Best Friend.”
What was your favorite memory on set with Rigor Tortoise this year?
I...
The RT Year in Review: Adam Karell
We asked Rigor Tortoise to answer some questions about 2009. We’ll be posting the answers throughout the week.
Today we hear from a man who you will soon see during every commercial break, Mr. Adam Karell:
Write one sentence that sums up your 2009.
A stepping stone.
What was your favorite memory on set with Rigor Tortoise this year?
One of my favorite memories from this year was when we...
The RT Year in Review: Josh Blackburn
We asked Rigor Tortoise to answer some questions about 2009. We’ll be posting the answers throughout the week.
Let’s hear from RT’s man behind the scenes of the behind the scenes, Mr. Josh Blackburn:
Write one sentence that sums up your 2009?
2009 was a year full of challenges, which in many ways strengthened areas of my life that would have otherwise stagnated.
What was your...
The RT Year in Review: Paul Natonek
We asked Rigor Tortoise to answer some questions about 2009. We’ll be posting the answers throughout the week.
Today we hear from Santa, Mr. Paul Natonek:
Write one sentence that sums up your 2009.
Jay Cutler has a league leading 26 interceptions.
What was your favorite memory on set with Rigor Tortoise this year?
Running down the beach holding on to a giant squid tentacle, with Justin...
The RT Year in Review: Justin Johnson
We asked Rigor Tortoise to answer some questions about 2009. We’ll be posting the answers throughout the week.
Today, we’ve got the dirt on 2009 from Triple J himself, Mr. Justin J. Johnson.
Write one sentence that sums up your 2009.
Electric, dynamic, amazing, I am Nine…the film.
What was your favorite memory on set with Rigor Tortoise this year?
I think Robot Dance Off was great...
The RT Year in Review: Behn Fannin
We asked Rigor Tortoise to answer some questions about 2009. We’ll be posting the answers throughout the week.
First up, our wonderful director/editor/guru, Mr. Behn Fannin.
Write one sentence that sums up your 2009.
My 2009 was a hoot.
What was your favorite memory on set with Rigor Tortoise this year?
Even though Greg wasn’t there I would have to pick the wedding video we made...
December 2009
2 posts
Things They Didn't Say: John Muir Edition
John Muir was an important figure in the preservation of American’s beautiful landscapes. In addition, he had a way with words.
Here are some things he never said:
1) When’s Disney gonna do a Pocahontas, Mulan mash-up movie?
2) George Burns died too young.
3) Rugby is an interesting sport.
4) If you come at me aggressively, I’m gonna get at you aggressively.
5) ...
Things They Didn't Say: Walt Whitman Edition.
Walt Whitman was an extremely important American poet and is considered the father of free verse.
Here are some things he never said:
1. I understand where you’re coming from because I’m also an amputee.
2. Another term for cracker is salted flat cookie.
3. I’m getting really really great sounds from this trumpet.
4. Did anybody get that license plate?
5. Even if I say...
November 2009
2 posts
I Just Got Shuffled!
I just wanted to give a big shout out to iTunes Shuffle. The persistence iTunes Shuffle has in playing a song by the Peruvian band Queena every other song, has really paid off, and forced me into fan-dom. I bought that CD while in Peru, put it on my iTunes for S’s and G’s, and never thought twice about it. Listened maybe once and was cool with it. But thanks to iTunes Shuffle in ignoring the...
October 2009
8 posts
"Trust me. You don't want me as your role-model,...
Saturday night was our first October show.
We saw lots of familiar faces and really enjoyed meeting new ones.
If you didn’t make it, here are 7 things you missed:
A Break-dancing Bonanza.
A new sitcom that would never make it past the censors called “Mating for Life.”
Jim Timmings and Tim Jimmings.
Court appointed little league coaching.
Wedding day jitters.
Dorf vs....
If Only Things Were Different...
My last name is Johnson, but sometimes I wish it were Jackson so people could call me, “Action Jackson.”
Look at “Action Jackson,” he really got that job done!
Check out “Action Jackson” he’s a real riot.
This guy put the “Action” in “Action Jackson.
If your last name is Jackson, please be grateful. Especially you Alan...
Ever Dream This Man? →
Even creepier than the horror photography I posted a week ago.
This man will be at our show this Saturday. His name may or may not be Julian.
BEWARE OF THE SWINE FLU!
GOOD NEWS YOU GUYS!
So I know everyone is sorta worried about the Swine Flu. Nobody wants it because its awful and will probably cause your limbs to fall off…let’s face it, that’s probably what happens.
Luckily for us, Reuters released a very detailed article titled “Q & A – How do you know you have the flu?
Okay, first step you guys. if you’re going to fear the swine flu, you have to know...
Liz Taylor Tweets Her Heart (surgery) →
Jump the Shark is to Television as Fix the Leaky Heart Valve is to Twitter.
Happy October! →
By clicking the link above you are warned that you are offering your brain a free pass to nightmare-land. It’s one of the scariest things I’ve seen in awhile. If you’re brave enough, check out the entire Portfolio. This guy is doing we all dreamed of doing when we grew up - Horror Photography.
September 2009
1 post
Everything
First thing’s first. Are you reading the best blog in the Great Blog Canyon?
Check it out here: MY YEAR OF EVERYTHING.
Dave Holmes has decided to spend a year of his life reading all the books in which the author did some crazy thing for exactly one year. It’s such a smart idea and every entry makes me laugh. I’m glad this thing will be around for a year. READ IT.
...
August 2009
2 posts
Watch
July 2009
1 post
June 2009
3 posts
May 2009
2 posts
Go BLOB Yourself AOL!
Dear AOL,
I’m calling bullshit on everything you put up on your mainpage! BULLSHIT. Here’s the title I was PARTICULARLY stoked about this morning…
“Giant Blob Found Beneath Nevada”
Here’s the article…
http://news.aol.com/article/giant-blob-in-nevada/499851?icid=main|main|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Fgiant-blob-in-nevada%2F499851
COOL I SAY! Let’s hide the women and...
April 2009
4 posts
Slow and Steady
I’m excited about this new Pet Shop Boys album I’m listening to but more importantly I’m excited about all of the ways you can hang with Rigor Tortoise in the next couple weeks.
Here’s a page from our personal date-books:
THIS WEEK GO SEE BEHN’S FILM “WOKE” @ THE NEWPORT BEACH FILM FESTIVAL. All of us are in it and it’s a fantastic film. Follow...
March 2009
7 posts
Twits
Hey hip boys and ghouls. We’re twittering now. If you have an account and want to follow us, that would be swell.
http://twitter.com/Rigortortoise
We’ve posted some exciting information exclusively over there for now, so what are you waiting for? Go check it out and click that follow button if you feel so inclined…
-GREG
PS- Even more exciting news to come….
Go F Yourself Meter Maids!
A friend of mine recently received a ticket from a no good meter maid, which prompted me to ask the following question: “how many meter maids are injured on the job from people who they’ve just F’D over by giving a senseless ticket?” So, I Googled my way around and found the following:
http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/DC-Sweeper-Cameras-Operational-And-Deadly.html
It really has nothing...
Late Night Lemonade
Adam, Dustin and Justin made an appearance on Stream.tv’s Late Night Lemonade this week. They got to hang out with the wonderful and talented Maria and Amanda and special guest Jason Ritter.
Check it out:
http://www.thestream.tv/watch.php?v=1303
-Greg
PS- Big news coming soon….. Watch this space for updates.
Space Bird & Space Fly
After posting my enthusiasm for space creatures, I received some FLAK for mentioning Space Birds and Space Flys. Apparently, nobody knows what they look like, so I’ve taken the liberty of creating two SPOT ON portraits of the two.
WHY DOES AOL LIE TO ME ALL THE F’N TIME!
Dear AOL,
Quit it! Just quit! Every time I go to log in, your little IN NEWS teasers get me!
Fooorrrrr instance, here’s todays:
“Creature Spotted On Space Shuttle”
Here’s my internal dialogue:
Are you kidding me? Amazing! Here it is! What is it! Some other form of life! I’m so excited! I’ve waited 26 years for this, and even if its some weird space bird, or space fly, I don’t f’n...
February 2009
2 posts
WatchIt’s time to play “SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THE TORTOISE IN THIS ABC PROMO…”
FIVE THINGS with Greg Castle
Five popular Valentine’s Day alternatives.
1. Instead of a romantic limo ride around the city, why not stay in and eat a pizza?
2. Instead of flowers, why not make a run to Pizza Hut and get yourself a large with two-toppings?
3. Instead of an all inclusive getaway for two, why not just shut the blinds, cancel your plans, pop a couple pizzas in the oven and let the smell of a freshly...
January 2009
8 posts
I AM JUSTIN JOHNSON!
Hey Ya’ll!
I AM JUSTIN JOHNSON! I want you all to remember this! The one and only! All of these other Justin Johnsons (see www.justinjohnson.com) are imposters! In my attempt to be the one and only Justin Johnson, I will randomly be blogging, and asking for your help in making sure I’m Justin Johnson. How? I’m not sure, but spread the word, there’s only one Justin Johnson, and I’m he! Hear...
In honor of our former turtle Woody. →
This link is the virtual equivalent of pouring out a drink for my fallen homie.
R.I.P. WOODY. May we never forget how you promised helicopters for everybody.
FIVE THINGS with Greg Castle
Five jobs I wish I could find.
1. Artic Cowboy - I ride a polar bear and wrangle penguins from one ice cap to another. PRO: Riding a bear bare-back. CON: Struggling with my purpose on Earth. 2. Royal Food Taster - I make sure the King’s food is fit for consumption. GOOD: Exotic spices. BAD: Poisoned cupcakes. 3. Mad Men Extra - I work at a desk in the background of Sterling Cooper. ...
Maggot Cheese. →
I’ve seen A LOT of crazy things on the internet this week but this one took the cake. I just had to share it with you. Enjoy.
-GREG
Gmail
To My Fellow Rigor Tortoise Members Who Have All Switched To Gmail…And The Rest of The World For That Matter,
Thank you for constantly encouraging me to change to Gmail. I’m really proud of all of you for making the change, and would love to join in the fun, however, apparently there are a trillion Justin James Johnson’s in the world, and every derivation of my name has been...