Rigor Tortoise

Five popular Valentine’s Day alternatives.

1.  Instead of a romantic limo ride around the city, why not stay in and eat a pizza?

2.  Instead of flowers, why not make a run to Pizza Hut and get yourself a large with two-toppings?

3.  Instead of an all inclusive getaway for two, why not just shut the blinds, cancel your plans, pop a couple pizzas in the oven and let the smell of a freshly baking pizza take you away to Italy?

4.  Instead of getting all dressed up in your finest fineries, why not put on your do-nuthin’s and shove some deep-dish personal-pan pepperoni pizza into your eager pizza-sized mouth?

5.  If you like pizza so much, why don’t you marry it?

This VD, fill that pizza-shaped hole in your heart.