Rigor Tortoise

Dear AOL, Quit it! Just quit! Every time I go to log in, your little IN NEWS teasers get me! Fooorrrrr instance, here’s todays: “Creature Spotted On Space Shuttle” Here’s my internal dialogue: Are you kidding me? Amazing! Here it is! What is it! Some other form of life! I’m so excited! I’ve waited 26 years for this, and even if its some weird space bird, or space fly, I don’t f’n care! It’s another form of life, and I’m stoked beyond belief. Okay. Justin, click the link. Here’s what I see when I click the link: It’s a bat! AND, furthermore, it’s on the spaceship that HASN’T EVEN TAKING OFF YET! GO F YOURSELF AOL! NOT COOL. A STUPID BAT! YOU JUST RUINED MY LIFE, AND I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL! A BAT?!?! A BAT! Still using your services, but a little angry that all of your links are mis-leading, Justin Johnson